She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
