Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
