just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
