I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she woke up with a sticky ear
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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