he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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