Sry I called you an 8
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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