Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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