ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
