Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
