talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize