My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
