i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
