i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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