Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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