Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
