He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
