Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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