she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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