yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
