found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
