I just saw a hot homeless man
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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