Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
