If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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