Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
