i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
