Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
