i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
