ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
