and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
