Just fell off a train. Bad.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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