Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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