If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
