Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
