oh god the rape fog is back!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
