Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
