If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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