Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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