is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
