I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
