I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
