Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
