I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
