is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I did not marry a roomba.
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