Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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