Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
