btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
