I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
