Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
