I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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