I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
