My hand turned me down
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
