3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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