I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
