You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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