so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
