Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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