I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
