I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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