I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize