Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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