Christians are straight up FREAKS
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
