While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dignity is for republicans.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
