wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize