Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
