you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Mom said you looked used
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
