it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
