the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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