i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
soo... how was my night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
