he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
