haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
